Time, Time? Time.
I spend a lot of time thinking about rewinding. Reliving the past. What I would change. How that would have shaped me today. How it could have shaped me.
Should I have just engaged in those activities, disregarding my morals? Should I have remained friends with this person to reap the rewards of a “fulfilling” high school experience? Should I have done that? Should I have said that..?
It is an unhealthy habit and has created a sort of relationship of hate between myself and the world.
I hated—hate—the world for its inevitable flurry of moments and memories intertwining around me and wrapping so hard together that it just poofs into mere nothingness.
It has caused me to question why exactly any of us do anything or have any goals. It has also prevented me from reaching a level of full gratitude and appreciating everything I have.
The tinge of cliche to the statement“Time is precious,” is ironically overlooked. It surrounds our environment, but never actually reaches us until after the precious time becomes the present.
And the cycle repeats.
I’m no professor, no scholar, no celebrity, no person of authority; but, I would advise to never dwell on the past. Losing sight of the present only sets the beginning for endless dwelling of that same present. Be strategic with your appreciation for the “now” over the “what was.”
Otherwise, you are doing yourself a disservice.
